"Showstarter" James Kalyn

It's The End Of WCW As We Know It (And Vince Feels Fine)

I figured that by this point, you've read all the opinions on WCW's crises that you care to.  And you probably never cared to read mine in the first place, so here's something a little different.  Different in the sense that only a half-dozen people have tried this before me (and have done it better too, I'm sure).

Thanks to Everlit for the inspiration, and thanks to UBIQ for changing the line to "the end of the fed as I know it," since that works a lot better.

As with all parodies, they're a lot better when you've got the real music playing... now, as sung to the tune of some REM song... I forget which one... Shiny Happy People, probably...

It's The End of WCW As We Know It (And Vince Feels Fine)

That's great, it starts with a headache
Bret Hart and Double J
Vinnie Roo had a bad day

All starting late Thursday, listen to the 'net churn
Nash serves his own needs, Sullivan - his own needs
Battle royal knockout - Abbott, new champ?
Veto not by Vinnie but by Busch, bye Russo
Now a crippler's speaking, represent the seven guys
Said the booker that they hired, Sullivan, not right
Bill Busch wasn't moving in a hurry with the furies breathing down his neck
One by one the workers said they'd walk, ratings dropped
Look at that buyrate fall again
Uh oh, let them go, they can walk with Vince Russo
We'll make do, call the Boys, call the mob
Nash serves his own needs, once again now, he leads
This time it's with Sullivan and Ferrera and Graham (Graham!)
Now it's vitriolic, idiotic slam fight bright light pay per view tonight

It's the end of the fed as we know it
It's the end of the fed as we know it
It's the end of the fed as we know it
And Vince feels fine

He might stay, give him power
Try to put the belt on Benoit
Decision reversed, blame it on the ref Arn
Walking out, ass kissing, name calling, strong arming
Money's a reason to stay, go work elsewhere for less pay
Still the workers say to bookers, step down, step down
Chris Benoit wants out, uh oh, this means still no champion
Renegade still dead
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament again
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives on TNN

It's the end of the fed as we know it
It's the end of the fed as we know it
It's the end of the fed as we know it
And Vince feels fine

The other night my dream was fine, Benoit champ for a long time
TV ratings high, Nash gone bye bye
Sullivan out, Taylor booked with Flair and Banks
Nitro Parties, cheesecake, DJ Ran, done!
It's moronic, idiotic, in my dreams, right?  Right.

It's the end of the fed as we know it...

"Showstarter" James Kalyn hasn't been inspired to write a wrestling-themed song parody since The Love Song to Mike Chioda.  Write to him at jameskalyn@themail.com.

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